The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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