she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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