so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
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i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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