i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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