woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
