There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
