im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
