My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
