2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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