A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
