He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
