So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
