Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
