god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
