I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
