I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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