I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
