I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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