Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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