And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
