i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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