the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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