She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
