at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
