im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
