Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

with a sacreligious after taste.

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(847): It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut. (1-847): with a sacreligious after taste. http://tfl.nu/wzar

Replies (7) Good night (2315) Bad night (810)
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(845): View more from New York

no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.

(516): View more from New York

You wear Armani Exchange.

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(845): no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue. (516): You wear Armani Exchange. http://tfl.nu/2dtf

Replies (16) Good night (799) Bad night (2247)
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(630): View more from Illinois

We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.

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(630): We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed. http://tfl.nu/qpmm

Replies (101) Good night (31318) Bad night (5110)
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(434): View more from Virginia

I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.

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(434): I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it. http://tfl.nu/sxq7

Replies (9) Good night (1198) Bad night (3772)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave

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(763): Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave http://tfl.nu/o1tg

Replies (3) Good night (2868) Bad night (895)
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(313): View more from Michigan

There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding

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(313): There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding http://tfl.nu/91sj

Replies (16) Good night (1586) Bad night (3779)
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(812): View more from Indiana

And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.

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(812): And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god. http://tfl.nu/4xu8

Replies (3) Good night (1320) Bad night (1057)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.

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(717): I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink. http://tfl.nu/gbhu

Replies (3) Good night (1126) Bad night (694)
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(315): View more from New York

This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand

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(315): This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand http://tfl.nu/jj5a

Replies (3) Good night (981) Bad night (563)
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(713): View more from Texas

I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"

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(713): I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in" http://tfl.nu/49tf

Replies (7) Good night (856) Bad night (562)
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(512): View more from Texas

I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.

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(512): I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again. http://tfl.nu/arot

Replies (5) Good night (888) Bad night (2217)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

we need to invent and abuse teleportation

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(204): we need to invent and abuse teleportation http://tfl.nu/6ayp

Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (369)
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(512): View more from Texas

I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...

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(512): I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute... http://tfl.nu/0ksf

Replies (0) Good night (1113) Bad night (461)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome

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(404): Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome http://tfl.nu/5bvq

Replies (0) Good night (415) Bad night (246)
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(937): View more from Ohio

These beer shits have taken over my entire life.

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(937): These beer shits have taken over my entire life. http://tfl.nu/90ar

Replies (0) Good night (249) Bad night (455)

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