Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher

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(303): Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher http://tfl.nu/qru2

Replies (3) Good night (1084) Bad night (1275)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

wtf?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.

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(610): I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now. (412): wtf? (610): Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit. http://tfl.nu/b93y

Replies (22) Good night (897) Bad night (3542)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

this just has baby written all over it

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(859): this just has baby written all over it http://tfl.nu/ltui

Replies (6) Good night (568) Bad night (4214)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.

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(859): I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron. http://tfl.nu/eae7

Replies (30) Good night (4593) Bad night (788)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.

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(732): i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds. http://tfl.nu/8f3d

Replies (8) Good night (5621) Bad night (1259)
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(567): View more from Ohio

I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..

(1-567): View more from Ohio

How so?

(567): View more from Ohio

Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.

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(567): I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand.. (1-567): How so? (567): Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours. http://tfl.nu/38h3

Replies (9) Good night (975) Bad night (3993)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day

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(860): Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day http://tfl.nu/vbqh

Replies (4) Good night (3527) Bad night (697)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.

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(203): Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more. http://tfl.nu/bcah

Replies (31) Good night (5478) Bad night (1157)
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(207): View more from Maine

he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead

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(207): he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead http://tfl.nu/s4ov

Replies (7) Good night (3237) Bad night (1070)
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(303): View more from Colorado

im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working

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(303): im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working http://tfl.nu/2ufm

Replies (5) Good night (1409) Bad night (3665)
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(415): View more from California

It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.

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(415): It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards. http://tfl.nu/fyj9

Replies (9) Good night (2068) Bad night (918)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.

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(902): after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart. http://tfl.nu/tash

Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (289)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.

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(814): Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud. http://tfl.nu/jy38

Replies (6) Good night (363) Bad night (528)
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(847): View more from Illinois

bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.

(309): View more from Illinois

May the force be with you.

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(847): bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died. (309): May the force be with you. http://tfl.nu/776r

Replies (4) Good night (1032) Bad night (303)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!

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(480): Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year! http://tfl.nu/fksl

Replies (3) Good night (350) Bad night (1350)

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