dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
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Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter