I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.