did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness