Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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