I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
