I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
