Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
