I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize