Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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