You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
