...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
