I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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