She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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