Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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