We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
