Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
