I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
