I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
