gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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