Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
