So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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