I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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