You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
