If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
