A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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