Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
