I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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