I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
