I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
