You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Randomize
