woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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