Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You left your phone here
Wait...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
