Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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