adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
