Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
