I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
