I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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