i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Your cock deserves a montage
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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