It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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