sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
